A couple of weeks ago I was sitting in church reflecting on the times and the very particular ways that the Lord has answered my prayers in my lifetime, and most especially lately. I also realized I have been in this ward for over a year now and have yet to bear my testimony. So I felt a desire to be given the words and the Spirit to acknowledge the Lord’s love and bear my testimony of Him on Fast Sunday.
This past week I worked about 60 hours instead of my usual 20, didn’t have a single day off, wasn’t home a single night, never had a regular dinner, and the milk in my fridge is sour it’s been so long since I’ve been to a grocery. I’m exhausted.
I dragged in late to sacrament meeting this morning, missed the sacrament, and plopped in my pew expecting to rest. As testimonies began, I realized that the theme that was developing was --could it be?--receiving answers to prayers. Hmm. and then I got that you-have-to-bear-your-testimony feeling from head to toe.
“No!” I thought. “Not today! I’m so tired. I'm just not ready. And I truly don’t deserve it."
But, wait, I asked for this, didn’t I? It couldn’t have been more clear to me that the Lord was directly and specifically answering that prayer uttered in my heart weeks before.
It was a very busy testimony day—no quiet times that needed to be filled; I had to fight for a place in line. But I couldn’t NOT bear my testimony now, could I? With heartfelt gratitude, I did.
A testimony was borne by a sister who just returned from Utah where her son got married. She was not at all happy about this girl or this marriage. When she went to pick up a rental car, the agent, in their casual conversation, delivered a message to her of forgiveness in a way that when she stood next to her son and his fiancé in that special circle in the temple, she was cleansed of all hard feelings. She bore testimony, as did I and others, of the lovingkindness of a Heavenly Father, and of the angels of mercy he sends to us.
I don't know how to thank Him, for what He does for me, and for you.
There are no words sufficient.
Just thanks, and thanks, and thanks, --
and more...
“Write [thy] blessed name, O Lord, upon my heart
there to remain so indelibly engraved
than no prosperity or adversity
shall ever move me from thy love.”
Thomas a Kempis 1500 A.D.
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3 comments:
I've been wondering how you're holding up with your unusual amount of stress, I'm glad you're hanging in there. You must be exhausted. I'm impressed you made it to church, I'm sure staying in bed today would have been a temptation.
I have wanted to bear my testimony each month so far this year, but haven't felt compelled to do so (I only felt like I wanted to feel like doing it), but today I started crying as soon as they announced a baby blessing today. This is unusual for me so I knew something was up. Then as I read my Book of Mormon while the Sacrament was being passed I felt like I was understanding things so clearly. Then there was an actual delay to start the meeting off (this never happens) so I actually went up and was first! I also felt like you did, thanks, thanks, thanks.
It's so nice to hear from you again! I've been wondering about you and how you've been doing. You're amazing. You know that, right? Only you could be gone from blogging for a while, work a 60 hour week, and come back with such a wonderful post. I wish I could have been there to hear you bear your testimony.
I love you. I want to thank YOU for all you do for us. And, oh yeah, I love you more!
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