Standards

We just had our stake Young Women basketball tournament. I’m always surprised how many girls come out to play basketball. It’s a sport I have never enjoyed playing; I don’t think any of my girls liked it either.

Maybe I would have like it better if they lowered the standard so I could make more baskets. It was just too high. I have since learned that they almost never lower the standard for any age or circumstance. It is called a standard for a reason: because it is always set at a standard height.

I like that word “standard”. It reminds me of the standards we are supposed to be living. We wish those standards could be lowered to a level that is easier to reach. But those standards never change—not for any age or circumstance. They are Celestial standards; they are God's standards. It is not meant for them to come down to us; it is for us to come up to them.


I love the promises given in the pamphlet, For the Strength of YOUth, to those who try to live the standards:

▪ You will be able to do your life’s work with greater wisdom and skill.
▪ You will feel good about your self.
▪ You will be a positive influence in the lives of others.
▪ Your opportunities and strength will be increased.
▪ Your vision will be expanded.
▪ The Lord will make much more out of your life than you can by yourself.
▪ He will give you the help you need to meet your trials and challenges.
▪ You will have the help of the Holy Ghost.
▪ You will find true joy as you come to know the Lord and feel His love for you.
▪ You will build the Kingdom of God and prepare the world for the Second Coming.


Are the standards set too high?

I don’t think so.

Look at what points we can score.

Look at the Game we can win.


It will take some practice, and some high reaching,

but I’m ready to play.



A man's reach should exceed his grasp, or else what's a heaven for?
Robert Browning

Bite-Size Lessons

Today I came across a children’s book called COOKIES - Bite-Size Life Lessons — a book that uses cookies to teach virtues!

I don’t know what I would have thought if I hadn’t chosen the word "Virtues" to focus on this year, but because I did, I thought this book was written just for me.

Here’s a few examples from the book by Amy Krouse Rosenthal:

COOPERATION means “How about you add the chips while I stir?”
PATIENT means waiting and waiting for the cookies to be done. "Aren't I waiting so nicely?"
MODEST means you don’t run around telling everyone you make the best cookies, even if you do.
RESPECT means offering the very first cookie to your grandmother.
PESSIMIST means “How awful how absolutely dreadful I have only half my cookie left."
OPTIMISTIC means “This is great – I still have half my cookie left."
ENVY means “I can’t stop looking at your cookie – it looks better than my cookie. Boy, I wish it were mine."
TRUSTWORTHY means "If you ask me to hold your cookie until you come back, when you come back, I will still be holding your cookie."
COURAGE means "It was not easy for me to tell you that I took the cookie, but I took a deep breath . . .and made the words come out."
WISE means “I used to think I knew everything about cookies, but now I realize I know about one teeny chip’s worth.”

Aren't those great, simple bite-sized lessons anyone can learn?

Why, then, is it so difficult to do?

I've found that as I have pondered and tried to implement virtues more consistently in my life, the word that keeps coming to my mind is discipline. Our natural self wants to be selfish, mean, envious and lazy, and it’s hard work to do the opposite. It takes great discipline to be virtuous!

From the same root word comes discipline and disciple. And isn’t that what we are trying to do in being virtuous, to be a disciple of Christ? --To follow Him, to be like Him, so we can live with Him? For a mere mortal, it isn't easy.

Discipline is a virtue in and of itself, but without it there is no virtue at all.

That's my bite-size lesson for today.


Now I think I'll go have a cookie.



I'm trying to be like Jesus. I'm following in His way.
I'm trying to love as He loved, in all that I do and say.

Will We Know Him?

During a recent Sunday School lesson on the birth of the Savior, I wondered anew: if I had lived at the time of Christ, would I have known who He was?

I'm always a bit unsettled by the popular fictional story of two men who are interviewed about what they know of Jesus Christ, and when a third man is called in, he falls to his knees, recognizing that the interviewer is Jesus.

I've taken some comfort in the thought that if we recognize Him as the Savior now, we probably would have then.

Until today.

My institute teacher suggested that though most members of the Church believe Jesus is the Christ, few really know Him. I fear he's right. I fear lest I be one of them.

As an example, we read Third Nephi 11, where the Risen Christ appears to the prophet-heeding, temple-attending, spared righteous Nephites in America.

Note:

• After many signs and wonders, there was a voice from heaven. The people didn't understand it until the third time the unknown voice spoke.
• They saw a Man descending out of heaven; they didn't know who it was.
• Jesus identified Himself, and they fell to the earth, for whatever reason.
• He invited each one to feel the nailprints in His hands. Only then did they truly believe it was Him.
• Only then did they shout "Hosannah" which means, God save us now. Did they not understand He had already saved them?

Again, if I had lived then, would I have known Him?


It has been said that this event portends the Lord's Second Coming.

I have to wonder again, will I know Him when He comes?


And, how can I come to know Him now?


And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God,
and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent. John 17:3

First Anniversary

I cannot let the day end without acknowledging that it's my anniversary. One year ago today my blog was born. Happy Birthday, Blog!


Just for fun, I thought I'd recap my past year, in no particular order:

I wrote 110 blogs.
I got put into a new ward.
I served in the stake Young Women for 16 units spreading into Oklahoma.
I made more money this year than ever before in this job.
I got out of debt, and have kept a tight rein on it.
I helped open a new store for the first time.
I finally got to see Phantom of the Opera on stage.
I worked quilt shows in Utah, Washington, Kansas and Texas.
I became a grandmother for the 9th time.
I got an iPod.
I did a handspring.
I went to a high school reunion for the first time.
I got my first X-Box so I could play DDR.
I learned I have high cholesterol, after being low all my life.
I got my first passport.
I took my first cruise, to places I've never been.
It was the first time my 8 children and their spouses but not their kids got together just for fun.
I went parasailing.
I went to Hawaii where I rode my first helicopter, catamaran, and kayak.
I had my first Christmas morning with no children at home.
I made some new blogging friends.
I reconnected with some very old friends.

Things I did NOT do:
Clean a single closet.
Empty a single box.
Find myself.

But I did a lot of fun things, had a lot of firsts, enjoyed my family, counted my blessings, and got to blog about some of it.

All in all, it was a very good year.

Who can find....?

I am intrigued by Michelle/Ali/Jenn’s idea of choosing one word to focus on this year. I like the idea that instead of working towards (failing at) a goal, you can look to making some progress.


I serve in Young Women and the Mutual theme this year is:
“…let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly…”
We usually think of virtue as chastity, but there are many virtues that make up a good and moral character.


While yet a young man, Benjamin Franklin made a list of thirteen virtues that he felt were an important guide for living. He wrote each virtue on a page in a small book that he kept with him most of his life. He would select one virtue to focus on each week, but every day he checked the entire list to see how he was doing.


When the Lord asks us to let virtue garnish our thoughts unceasingly, surely he meant for all good things to be in our minds and in our hearts continually. Ben Franklin came close to what the Lord had in mind in thinking about virtues every day, and of having a plan to improve them in his life.

President Hinckley has said,
"You may not be a genius. But you can be good, and you can try."


The word I will have on my mind this year is

Virtues

Maybe that is more than one word. There are many virtues. I've already made a very long list.


Holy writ asks, "Who can find a virtuous woman?"

I hope I can answer, "Right here."


In the hour since I’ve made this decision, I’ve already hit the wall several times and seen how far I am from any ideal or perfection in any virtue. Maybe it will be a year of just magnifying my faults.

Hopefully awareness will lead to improvement.

Certainly trying is a virtue.



If there is anything virtuous, lovely or of good report, we will seek after these things.

Funerals

Today I went to a funeral. I'm one of those odd ducks that likes funerals. For me it makes it all very real: life, and death.

I heard once that until you face death as a reality--that it really really will happen-- you don't know how to live.
I tried it, and "they" were right. It put into focus for me those things that matter, and those things that really don't.
It is a focus that quickly and easily blurs or fades. We need funerals and weekly sermons to help us get our focus back.

At every funeral a picture is painted of the life of the deceased.
I often wonder if that person could come back and give a rebuttal, what things they would correct, or add, or what emphasis they would change. Unless we write our own eulogy, we don't get to do that.

Most people don't know our inner thoughts, our dreams, our hopes, our wishes. They don't know what we wanted to do but didn't, or what we wished our life could have been. The only thing we leave for people to talk about is what we actually did. I'd rather be known for my good intentions, but that isn't what obituaries are made of.

I sometimes wonder what people will say about me at my funeral. But I don't worry about it.
It seems that no matter how mean you were, or how much of a bum you were, they always find something nice to say.
I heard a guy at his grandmother's funeral pray, God, you'll have your hands full with her. Wasn't that a nice way of saying it?


It's trite but true, most of us don't get out of here alive.

And we really truly don't take much with us.

We won't need a swimming suit or sunscreen for this journey.

I hope we pack what matters.

Stay-at-home Moms

Staying home with small children is often considered a low point in life. We feel slovenly and wasted and unimportant. It's a stage we wish would pass quickly so we can get on with real life.

From my perspective, it is one of the best stages of life, and it makes me sad that so many mothers don't enjoy it while they're in it.

So I started a list of Good Things about Being Home with Kids.
It's a first draft, not polished or complete or even well thought-out, but I'm putting it out there for others to debate or add to.
Feel free. It's a work in progress.

GOOD THINGS ABOUT BEING HOME WITH KIDS

1. You get to be the queen of your own domain, to set up your castle and make the rules, and have loyal, if loud and messy, subjects.
2. Your kids will never be cuter, or more forgiveable.
3. Your kids think you know everything (you will get dumber with age) and that you can fix and do anything.
4. You may be exhausted and dowdy, but you can handle things--referee the fights, heal the wounds, fix broken toys and hearts, etc.
5. Little children are easy to please.
6. You are bigger than they are, so you win.
7. If you think they don’t listen to you now, wait until they’re teenagers.
8. You will never be smarter or wiser, in their eyes or yours.
9. You can put penny candy and dollar junk in their Christmas stockings and they’ll be delighted.
10. You usually know where they are, unless you take them somewhere (except Angela).
11. They may be expensive, but they’ll never be cheaper to feed, clothe or entertain.
12. You can pick them up, hug them tight, hold them on your lap, and even tickle them.
13. They laugh with their whole body.
14. Their eyes light up.
15. They believe what you say.
16. They are reason to buy the newest cold cereal.
17. You are everything to them; soon enough you will be a cipher in the snow, the gum on the bottom of a shoe, so low you will have to look up to see the ground.
18. They leap out of bed in the morning and do much more than be a couch potato.
19. They get excited about things.
20. They’re not too cool to try things.
21. They’ll eat mac and cheese and hot dogs and pbj's and fish sticks.
22. Holidays are way more fun.
23. It takes a lot of their little clothes to make a load of wash.
24. They’re easily entertained.
25. They give you kisses and let you kiss them.
26. You can say no to things you don't want to do b/c of the kids.
27. You are a better person because you have to set the example.
28. You don't have someone else telling you when and what to do, and keeping you from the park or the pool or roller-skating or nothing at all.
29. You get the privilege of living your life for something outside yourself, for others.
30. It's just more fun than just about any other job.

A Piece of Quiet

My new 2007 Mary Engelbreit calendar is called A Piece of Quiet,
and it has quotes each month about rest, repose and relaxation.
I wonder if it could be possible this year.
I thought when my children left home my life would be quiet.
Last year was my busiest year yet, even after two daughters’ weddings the year before.

What kept me so busy?

Work. The business is getting more demanding, but we’re not hiring more people. We opened a new store in Utah for which I did much of the planning, ordering, packing, setting up, and getting it up and running. I worked shows in Kansas, Salt Lake City, Seattle, and Houston—some of the hardest work I’ve done.

Travel. In addition to shows, I was lucky enough to travel to Utah a couple of times, to Hawaii, and on a Mexican cruise with my family. It was all fun, but put me even farther behind and added to my busy-ness.

Church calling. Being in stake Young Women isn’t always busy, but it’s pretty big stuff when we are. With 16 units to orient, train, and attend ward conferences for, plus the pioneer trek we did, the dances, activities and meetings, stake auxiliary training and YW Recognition, it adds up.

Will it be different this year?

Well, I still have my calling, my job, and travel plans. I'll be working fewer shows and won’t have a store to open, but otherwise, not too different.

But maybe my calendar will remind me to slow down and smell the roses.

Maybe, amidst the busyness, I'll take time to rest.


Rest
is not idleness;
and to lie sometimes on the grass
under trees on a summer day,
listening to the murmur of the water
or watching the clouds float across the sky
is by no means
a waste of time.
--J Lubbock

My Trips to Paradise

I don’t know why I was the lucky one, but I got to be the Princess of Quite a Lot this year (sorry, Elizabeth). In less than three short months I got to take four great trips.

Thanksgiving week I got to go on my first cruise, and it was to the Mexican Riviera, and it was with all my children! I thought it was a blast. The boat was huge and interesting and fun. We had wonderful meals in the dining room, attended classes and shows, enjoyed the pools, walked the decks, used the workout room, climbed the rock wall, took dancing lessons, ate and ate and ate, had a family book club meeting, played games in the game room, dressed up for formal nights, had girls' day at the salon, and had the fun of seeing family around every corner.
Getting off the boat was a great adventure too that included snorkeling, parasailing, boogie boarding, sliding down natural waterfalls, hiking, jumping in the back of "taxis" with people who didn't speak English, and finding our way around a foreign country. It was very fun. I didn't want it to end.

I wasn't home a week before I got on a plane to go to Hawaii. My friends who own the business I work for had room in their time share so they invited me! I had a blast. I didn’t have to be a mother or a wife or count my pennies. I did things I’ve never done and may never get to do again.
We spent the first week in Kauai—the best kept secret in the world. It is everything you think Hawaii would be. Tropical beauty on every acre, lots of beaches, tons to do, perfect weather. Then I stayed a few more days with them on Maui. While in Hawaii I flew in a helicopter over the inaccessible NaPali coast and Waimea Canyon, the wettest spot on the earth where Jurassic Park and other films have been shot. I kayaked, did an amazing jungle hike, took a catamaran out to a forbidden island, drove 10,000 feet up to the top of a volcanic crater, went to a real luau, and enjoyed beautiful beaches, waterfalls, caves and rock formations. It was Paradise. I didn't want to come home.

These trips followed closely my trips to the breathtaking Northwest and to a diverse international quilt show in Houston, and a trip to Utah earlier this year.

My dictionary defines Paradise as any place of great beauty and perfection, any place or condition of great happiness, or heaven.
Being in the hills of Utah with children and grandchildren, being in the lush Northwest with family and friends, cruising the seas with my kids, and being in tropical Hawaii, I found myself in places of great beauty and happiness, places I didn't want to leave.

That certainly defines Heaven, doesn't it?: A place of great beauty and perfection, a place of great happiness, being with family and loved ones, and never wanting to leave.


I've been in Paradise at least 4 times this year.

It gave me a taste of Heaven.

With my passport (temple recommend),

I hope to go there someday.

Adversity

Before I loan my book out, I want to share a quote from Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden:

"Adversity is like a strong wind. I don’t mean just that it holds us back from places we might otherwise go. It also tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that afterward we see ourselves as we really are, and not merely as we might like to be.”

I've had some adversity in my life. I've learned things about myself, some that I like and some that I don't.

I've never forgotten when I hit the lowest point in my life. I'll spare you the details, but tell you what I learned: I thought I had lost everything, but I found that after being stripped of it all what I had left was a personal knowledge of God.

When I thought I had not a friend in the world to take my troubles to, no help, no support and nowhere to turn, when there was no arm of flesh upon which I could rely, I found a friend in Jesus.

I learned that no matter what happens to me in life, I know that God is real, that's He is lovingly aware of His children, and that though He may not come in the time and way you want Him to, He always comes.

And it has made all the difference.

In rebuttal to criticism of the ill-fated Martin and Willie Handcart Companies, an elderly man once said: “I was in that company and my wife … too. We suffered beyond anything you can imagine and many died of exposure and starvation, but … we became acquainted with [God] in our extrem[i]ties. Was I sorry that I chose to come by handcart? No. Neither then nor anyminute of my life since. The price we paid to become acquainted with God was a privilege to pay, and I am thankful that I was privileged to come in the Martin Handcart Company.” ( cited in Robert L. Backman, “Faith in Every Footstep,” Ensign, Jan. 1997, 8)

Adversity is never fun, but I'm grateful to have come to know God, and myself, in ways I otherwise never would have.

To be untested and unproven is also to be unaware of all that we are. If we are unknowing of our possibilities, with what could we safely be trusted? Could we in ignorance of our capacities trust ourselves? Could others then be entrusted to us? --Neal A. Maxwell