Current Season

We usually think of seasons in terms of weather; there are also seasons of our lives. We talk of seasons of being young or old or middle-aged, seasons of being single, parenting, or having grandchildren, but there are other things that create a climate around us. Sometimes our season is working a lot; recently ours was relaxing in the Caribbean. These are the things that give variety, interest, differentiation, and beauty to our lives. We remember things better that aren’t the same old-same old.

I write in my journal of daily happenings; sometimes but not always it may reflect the climate or quality of life as it’s currently unfolding. For the past 2 years we’ve been in a season of illness; for the past 2 weeks our climate has been the hospital.

There are details that fill in the picture of a season:

The sights: We seem to drive the same roads every day to the hospital. Often we take Lake Forest and 121, through the construction of the new multilevel freeway, seeing changes every day. Except when we take Eldorado to avoid the mess. I go to work which takes me down 75 to University. The traffic is terrible because it’s the McKinney bottleneck and because of major construction at both exits, but the other options aren't any faster. Rarely do I go anywhere else. We spend our days and nights in a hospital room. At least it’s a private room now, but a hospital nonetheless, all walls and halls in the same color-less blah. I see home only to dress, undress and sleep.

Every season has emotions. Spirits are lifted as we drive around town enjoying the Autumn colors, a brisk wind, a chill in the air. The hospital brings out feelings of worry, stress, anticipation, watchfulness, waiting, hope, despair, struggle, peace, gratitude, boredom, fatigue, connection to and separation from others. In one sense this is real life as we deal with real issues; in another it disconnects us from the normal life going on outside these walls.

The sounds of this season include alarms and alerts from monitoring machines, of nurses talking in the halls, the bustle of much being done, and the eerie quiet of the middle of the night.

Touch is different too. We touch sheets and linens and towels, lotion for foot rubs and antibacterial hand scrubs, tubes and call buttons, a feverish brow, or cold, clammy skin.

Tastes for the patient are mostly water and Sprite. Mine include peanut butter crackers and string cheese, and more fast food than I eat in a year. The occasional real food my daughter-in-law brings me is a nice delight.

There's no sense of time at all. We can't seem to tell day from night or what day of the week it is.

One could say we are in a foxhole, a place where we are protected from the onslaught of the outside world, a place to heal and rejuvenate to resume the battle of life. It is also a place where we can find God, to feel his blessing and peace, and see his love in caring friends and family.

This is our season for now. It is ours to enjoy and appreciate for what it is, to see the colors and feel the experience, to learn and grow and serve, to be better, to know God. It may not be our favorite season, but we will open our arms and our hearts and accept what God has provided.

Last Year's Word

Another new year has come, and I never wrote about the word I chose to focus on last year. Before I get too far away from the past year, I’d like to check that box.

In the year 2009 I chose, not a word, but a phrase: I Need Thee Every Hour.
I had no idea how much I would need that thought this past year.

One of the benefits of focusing on a word or phrase for an extended period of time is that your mind expands, and you gain a greater understanding of what you are thinking about. As I thought about why we need God, how often we need Him, and in what ways we need Him, I came to understand better that we do indeed need Him every hour. I learned that He is always there, that as we remember Him, He remembers us.

I also realized that He needs us. He needs us to think of Him, to know Him, to listen to Him, and to follow Him. He needs us to do that so He can make Himself known to us, so He can bless us, so He can guide us and use us in His strait way.

It has helped me better understand who He is, what He has done, and what He will do for us.


WHY “ I Need Thee Every Hour”:

** For life itself, for He is The Life that gives life to every man and all that in the world there is.

** For Light, for he is The Light that lighteth the earth and the heavens and those that dwell therein... The Light of Truth, of intelligence, and of Love. He is the Light in the darkness, and makes our burdens light.

** Hope, for His is the only name under heaven by which man may be saved, from sin and from sorrow, from discouragement and doubt, from death itself. It is by His merits we are saved, not by ours.

** To remember who I am, and whose I am, and that I was bought with a price, and am His.

** To be forgiven, cleansed, and sanctified, worthy of His presence.

** Love, for as I feel His love, I am filled with love for Him and for His children.

** Peace, not as the world giveth, but that which can only come from Him.

** For gratitude, to know from Whom my blessings flow, and who to thank for them.

** To be my shield and my protection from evil and from danger every moment of every day.

** He is Master, to help me withstand temptations, to change my carnal nature, to overcome the world, as He did.

** He is Teacher, a personal tutor for my particular curriculum in life.

** To be a Witness to the world as His light shines through me.



This scripture best expresses how I feel about this past year:

I say unto you, that as ye have come to the knowledge of the glory of God,
or if ye have known of his goodness and have tasted of his love,
even so I would that ye should remember,
and always retain in your remembrance--
the greatness of God,
and your own nothingness,
and his goodness and longsuffering towards you.

If you do this,
ye shall always rejoice,
and be filled with the love of God,
and ye shall grow in the knowledge of the glory of him that created you,
and in the knowledge of that which is just and true.
(Book of Mormon, Mosiah 4:11-12)


Truly, we need Him every hour.